you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
