I'm gonna have a badass scar
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize