I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
