so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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