I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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