First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize