I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
