some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We got so high we made milksteak
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
