He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
