i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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