Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
