At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize