omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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