You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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