So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You ate ashes out of my bong
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
