Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize