Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
