The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize