I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
