Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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