I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
