Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
