the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
