its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
