He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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