thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
