Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
