On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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