Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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