Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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