How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
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Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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