I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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