Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
