maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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