He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize