the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
