Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
