Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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