You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
