Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
