She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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