when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
