well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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