Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
