it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
