used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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