Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize