i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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