Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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