Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
