if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.