My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
