Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize