She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
