i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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