My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
