She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hippo gnu deer
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
