Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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