He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
