Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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