just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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