apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
